So here's the deal: after realizing that I was really bored at my old job and never going to go anywhere, I started looking for other jobs. Finally, I got offered a job that seemed like a sweet deal: sure, the pay is pretty much nonexistent, but I'm going to be doing social justice work in Mexico, which is a cool-sounding thing!
So I'm moving to Mexico! In a little over a month!
There are a lot of things to think about when you are leaving the country. It is probably good to have more than a month, maybe even more than two months, to wrap these things up and maybe have some time to sit and enjoy the people you love who think this is a terrible idea and the people you love who think this is a good idea. Well, I don't have that much time, so I'm spending some time being sort of ambivalent and some time being pretty hysterical. It's probably really attractive.
My problem is that I have a lot of dreams. My "living abroad and doing something intense" dream is about to come true, but I'm going to have to totally cancel my "make the revolution happen at my place of work" dream, and I'm going to have to postpone my "become a famous journalist", "go to medical school in Cuba", "open up an Etsy shop", "study social work", and "become a wedding photographer so I'm not that creeper ogling at people's wedding photos online" dreams--also, I learned last night that my newer "keep a garden year-round in sunny Mexico" dream probably won't come true, as my new apartment is surrounded by cement. Geez louise, living in Mexico is already hard and I'm not even close to doing it yet.
I'm also having massive insecurities about what this decision means for my life in general. Well, really, what I guess I mean is that I've developed a fear that this decision is actually caused by my massive insecurities which make me take the rougher path. I'm not sure if an easy life is something I think I don't "deserve", or that people can deserve it at all, but there you go. I am concerned.
Anyway, it's happening no matter what so I guess I should be way more serious about things like getting rid of my stuff, trying to sell my stuff, and moving around my stuff, but mostly I'm so tired. Today I have excuses, my (first!) flu shot and the rain. I know this rain isn't going to stop. I saw it coming.
I guess I'd better get to work anyway.
