in response to this:

Meh.

I don't like katy perry because i'm not convinced she's *anything* really, other than a person who is adept at following trends and maximizing her potential to attract a demographic with disposable income.

I get grumpy sometimes when I read these types of articles because they sound sorta reactionary. Either we act like little magical girls or we act like assertive jerks. Great.

I sympathize with the manic pixie persona for a reason that is pretty well phrased in the blog they linked with dumb photo of the hipster girl with the bike: Life is too short to not be who you want to be. I think for me, at least, those book and movie characters (and bloggers) resonate because in my world, which is generally ugly and messy and really pretty depressing, the idea of valuing mostly aesthetics and whimsy is pretty soothing.

I want the life where my parents pay for everything, where I look and dress like a doll. I want the life where I eat French pastries and talk to my equally fashion-y and artsy (privileged) friends about something interesting I noticed in a re-reading of Ionesco plays. Let's go to Japan and develop the right sensibility for layering our clothes, okay?

But I know I can't have those things, and if I am to be honest, I know that most of those bloggers don't have those things either. And so we all curate our lives, putting the parts we think are notable and important on show. We can choose to highlight that we found exactly the right flowery dress at the thrift store or some academic achievement or, in my case, I curate segun what I've become obsessed with in a particular moment.

I think the whole thing about little girls is only sort of valid. I feel like women are torn in all sorts of directions. Be businesslike, professional, and assertive. Be sexy and "know what you want". Be nurturing and motherly. Blah blah blah. All at the same time. For me, these displays of girlish behavior feel sort of like retrieving to a safe space. I don't plan on being assertive any time soon, I don't know what I want, and I have only a dog to mother. I feel like some of this is just linked to the general uncertainty of being in our mid-20s in particularly uncertain times. The flappers had the ethereal silent film stars to contend with, and apparently these particularly assertive women have the Zooey Deschanels (who admittedly takes the whole thing pretty far) of the world as their foils.

So I'm not sure it really is all about "the peen". I'm not sure what it is men in general or specifically the ones I have known want or need but I'm pretty sure that my love of quirky girly things will continue misunderstood as it has been until now.

On another note, I am pleased to report that it is fall in Baltimore. Hmph.